


I'm losing my mind, losing control

by Bells670



Category: The Infernal Devices Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Anal Sex, Background Charlotte Branwell, Background Tessa Gray, Blow Jobs, Boys In Love, Gay Sex, I think thats it but idk, M/M, Pining, Sex, Will Herondale - Freeform, jem carstairs - Freeform, jem knows will too well, kind of, will speaks welsh when he gets fucked
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 10:03:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20487098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bells670/pseuds/Bells670
Summary: "Will knew the second he woke up that it was one of those days."Just soft Heronstairs smut for my favorite boys.





	I'm losing my mind, losing control

**Author's Note:**

> title from: Cough Syrup by Young the Giant
> 
> this has been sitting in my notes for months so I figured I'd finally post it, hope y'all enjoy!

Will knew the second he woke up that it was one of those days. He had woken up with sweat dripping down his forehead, chest heaving. He tried to recall the dream but was fairly unsuccessful, just flashes of black and silver and heat heat heat. A quick glance out the window told him it was nearly time to get up anyway so he lied in bed a while longer willing the pressure in his pants to subside so he could get up and face the Institute with as little embarrassment as he possibly could.

By the time he had made it to the dining room, he felt his chest tighten at the sight that the only remaining empty seat was beside Jem. Close enough to feel his body heat. Close enough to smell the sandalwood coming off his body. As Will sat, avoiding eye contact with everyone, he noticed with a soft pain in his heart how tired and fragile Jem looked this morning. His eyes were light and colorless and it was obvious it had been a night not for sleep, but instead for violin. Will realized he was staring when he made eye contact with Jem and the other boy offered him a sweet smile. Will's cheeks felt hot and he ducked his head to eat his porridge as Charlotte rattled on about plans for the day. The dark haired boy snuck another quick glance towards Jem, only to find that he was already watching. By the time Charlotte had sent them out on an errand, Will was glad for the distraction that was Tessa, carefully picking her way through the crowded London streets to avoid getting her dress wet in a grimey puddle. Will kept his attention on the girl rather than his best friend, quick with vexing comments and jokes, though they could all tell his heart was not in it. Tessa had noticed the dark circles under Will's eyes the moment he had stepped into the dining room and although she still worried about him when he showed up to breakfast still exhausted, she had become enough used to the event that she refrained from asking questions, only glancing worriedly in his direction occasionally.

When they reached the Institute again that afternoon, Will was even more exhausted from keeping up pretenses. He had long since been enveloped by Jem's sweet smell and everytime he blinked he could see Jem's smile behind his eyelids. He quickly excused himself from the others to escape to the training room, hoping to tire himself enough that the endless stream of thoughts would cease for a few hours, at least. He reached for the throwing knives, focusing less on hitting his Target and more on how much force he was able to put behind each throw. How much frustration and tension he could expel Everytime the knife left his hand.

"Goodness," a voice startled him from the doorway. "If you keep throwing like that you'll put a crack in the walls. However would we explain that to Charlotte?"

Will smiled humorlessly at Tessa. "Just trying to tire myself out tonight," he replied.

"Six-Fingered Nigel preoccupied?" He laughed at the inside joke. The first real laugh he had managed all day, and, if Tessa's self-satisfied smile was any indication, it was obvious he had been in a rotten mood.

"I'll leave you alone now," she promised. "Jem just wanted to know what that distant thudding- Are you alright Will? You look as though you've seen a ghost!" At the mention of Jem's name Will had gone completely colorless and he could feel sweat gathering at his temples.

"I'm fine, please leave me alone now," he snapped at Tessa, instantly feeling bad at the way her grey eyes hardened. She closed the door with more force than necessary after a curt "Good day" and Will winced, guilt swelling through his body. He put the throwing knives away, but stayed sitting in the training room for a while longer recalling memories of sweet Jem when he first arrived.

He eventually made his way back to his own room and washed the sweat from his body, dressing in his night clothes and lying down on his bed despite the fact that it was still early. He hoped that he'd tired his body enough that he'd be able to slip into a quick dreamless sleep. No such luck.

He lied down in a bed that was most decidedly not his, but was as familiar to him as if it was his own. The silver moonlight fell through the window, casting a bright light on the body next to him. The boy looked even more silver in the moonlight but Will still thought him to be beautiful. The blankets were only pulled up to their waists and Will was surprised to see Jem naked above his waist. The bed was small enough that the two had slotted against each other in their sleep and Will's front was pressed against Jem's back. Will propped himself up on one arm to look over at the other boy. He looked peaceful in his sleep, painless, and Will was delighted to see that he still wore the Jade fist around his neck. He watched as Jem's eyelashes began to flutter against his high cheekbones and he slowly opened his eyes. He turned his silver gaze towards Will, a sweet smile blossoming across his face as he turned onto his back and reached his arms upward. He wrapped them around Will's neck and pulled down sharply until Will was only a few centimeters away from Jem, close enough to feel his soft exhale against his lips. Will quickly closed the gap between them and met his lips with Jem's, moving slightly to place one of his legs between Jem's so as to be more comfortably above him. Jem gasped slightly as he felt Will harden against him and his hips jerked up to grind against Will. Will could see it in his eyes: he was desperate for more. more heat, more pressure, more Will. As Will leaned down to meet their lips once again he gasped at the heat and promptly woke up, drenched in sweat and with a pressure between his legs. He lied in bed for a few minutes, catching his breath, before he slowly got up to splash some water on his face. It was the middle of the night and Will figured no one else would be awake, so he too a walk through the sprawling Halls of the Institute.

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't realize he was walking towards Jem's room until he stood in front of it. He hesitated before placing his hand on the door knob but sighed in relief when he heard the violin music. He wouldn't be disturbing Jem, the boy was already awake. With a new found confidence he twisted the fort handle and stepped into the room, his breath catching at the sight. The curtains were opened wide and Jem stood in a patch of silver moonlight that illuminated his high features and made him glow. Without opening his eyes, or stopping his playing, he called out "Will? Will is that you?"

Will remained silent, but stepped forward to sit on the bed and watch Jem play his violin. The bed smelled of Jem, sweat and sandalwood, and Will was instantly comforted. After a few moments Jem pulled the violin off his shoulder and opened his eyes to face Will.

"You could have continued," Will whispered, as if afraid to break the sudden silence.

Jem shrugged, "I have played all I wish to play tonight." He carefully placed his violin back into it's case and slid into bed beside Will.

"I thought perhaps I might see you tonight," he said with a slight smile. Will's eyes widened and his mouth fell open slightly as Jem began to laugh at his surprise. "Honestly Will, this has occurred enough in the past that I know when to expect you." And with no further hesitation, Jem leaned forward to close Will's lips in his own. Will exhaled into the kiss softly before reciprocating the action. His strong arms closed around Jem's slender waist and Jem wrapped his arms around Will's neck. Almost like the dream, but not quite Will thought. They stayed like that for a few moments longer, basking in each other's heat and enjoying the familiar feel of the other's lips on their's. As Jem began to move his lips down Will's jaw to his throat, Will easily lifted Jem on top of him and repositioned himself to be more comfortable. Jem's hands had slid from Will's neck to either side of Will's body, trapping him there on the bed. Will let go of Jem for just a moment, just long enough to unbutton his own shirt and pull it off, throwing it to some corner in the dark room, before wrapping his arms back around Jem even tighter than before. Jem slid down Will's body, leaving tracks of hot, open-mouthed kisses down his torso before finally reaching the waist of his pants. He tugged them down to Will's knees as Will helped kick them off of his ankles and after a moment of squirming the pants were on the ground. Jem glanced up at Will with a cheeky grin before leaning down and taking Will's entire length in his hot mouth. Will sucked in a hard breath and unconsciously bucked his hips against Jem's mouth. Jem didn't even flinch, looking up at Will through wide eyes half-covered by thick eyelashes as he continued to bob up and down. He pulled all the way up and off of Will and grabbed his dick gently before licking a stripe up the underside with the flat of his tongue. Though they had done this for years Jem still never failed to knock Will to the brink of consciousness everytime. Will finished hard, his vision going white as he spurted into Jem's waiting mouth, and a moment later he felt Jem's lips against his. He could faintly taste himself in Jem's mouth, but it wasn't entirely unpleasant, and Jem began rutting against his legs slightly. He sat up, pushing Jem off his mouth lightly before whispering into the near-darkness, "Please fuck me." He sounded wrecked, even to his own ears, and it was hard to believe that an hour ago he had considered taking care of this himself, not bothering Jem with the problem. Jem's eyes were hooded and dark, but flashed brightly at the request. He reached over Will's body to his nightstand to get the small bottle of oil and then helped Will push up on to all fours. Jem coated his fingers and slowly pushed one into Will's waiting heat. The boy gasped at the feeling, but relaxed so Jem was able to push it all the way in and slide it in and out for a few moments. He was quickly able to put in a second, then third finger and he spread them within Will to stretch him out more. The fourth finger met some resistance but with a little more oil Jem was able to push it in easily. By the time he had four fingers in Will the boy was breathing hard and had fallen on to his forearms, rather than resting on his hands.

"Please," he breathed out, sweat dripping from his temple, "please James, please I need more please more please."

Jem was not quite sure that Will knew what he was begging for at this point but Jem obliged. He pulled his hand out of Will, causing the boy to whimper at the loss of fullness, and quickly pulled his pants down and coated his own cock with oil. He lined himself up with Will's waiting hole and pushed in gently. Will's full body shuddered and rocked back against Jem to get more. Will was babbling and Jem understood very little of it. Occasionally he heard more or please. And at one point it seemed that Will had reverted back to his native Welsh. Jem smiled to himself at the mess he was making of the boy, and pushed into Will again, angling himself slightly to hit that sweet spot. He could tell when he hit it when Will cried out and began panting even harder. Jem paused to allow him to catch his breath before Will spoke. His voice was harsh and ragged in the quiet of the room as he authoritatively said, "James, do that again." So, with a smile, Jem did. Again and again and again until Will was whining and crying. "Jem I'm gonna-" he didn't get to finish before he came for the second time that night on to Jem's bedsheets. As he came, Jem felt him tighten around the boy's cock, and that was it for Jem. He felt himself go over the edge and release into Will as they both fell on the bed, Jem resting on Will's back still fully inside Will.

"Well," Jem spoke first, pulling out of Will slowly and putting his pants back on. "That was..." Will nodded as he trailed off, both unsure what to call the wonderful experience they had just had. Will pushed himself up on wobbly arms to pull his clothes back on.

"I should go back to my room," he said, softly.

"Don't!" Jem spoke sharply, surprising even himself. "I mean, stay? Please?"

Will paused in trying to find his shirt before he found himself nodding at Jem. Who was he to deny Jem what he wanted? He decided that after that display Jem would be able to handle him sleeping without a shirt and he slipped back into the bed. He pressed against Jem and snaked his arms around the boy's waist. Pressing a soft kiss to Jem's bare shoulder, he settled in for the night, content in the fact that the dreams would be gone. Because this time, as he fell asleep, he had the real thing wrapped in his arms, not the fading memory of Jem's warmth or smell or body. He smiled slightly. Jem was his, all his, and the darkening bruises down his torso and the warm body in his arms proved it.

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on Tumblr @bells670 if u wanna talk about Heronstairs or Cassie Clare in general! Or you can just scream at me to start writing more, I definitely need the motivation! Anyway lemme know what you thought about this :)


End file.
